


Detention

by h34rt1lly (LILYisatig3r)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Detention, Humor, M/M, MondayNightIsGayNight, Parody, Potions Lab, snarry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 14:53:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3940975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LILYisatig3r/pseuds/h34rt1lly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry fails at making a simple potion and Snape sentences him to detention. Alone...in the dungeon...with him. Snarry, implied slash, parody piece, one-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Detention

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a serious piece of writing, it is a parody piece. There are sexual innuendos galore, keep your mind firmly rooted in the gutter while reading this in its entirety. If you don't laugh a single time, you're reading it wrong :)
> 
> By the way, this is and will be the only piece of work I ever write for the HP fandom. Muahahahaha. Also, no beta-reader, because I just wanted to get it out there. 
> 
> Enjoy.

* * *

  ** _The Hot Chick:_ ** _"Hey! Can't you read? Monday night's gay night."_

* * *

_Bang!_

White smoke drifted into the air around Harry's face, obscuring his view. The harsh, burning fog permeated his airway, and he hacked violently, trying to dispel the invading substance.

Hermione ran over to his table, her mousy, drab curls bouncing in her haste. "Harry, what happened?!"

In between fits of coughs, he said, "Wrong...ingredient...Ron's...suggestion."

At that, Ron glanced over at his friend in disbelief. "Mate, not cool."

Like the dark, omnipresent individual that he was, Professor Snape slinked over behind the trio. "What happened?," he said, his nasally voice lingering in the air.

All three of them whipped their heads around, eyes wide. Ron and Harry simultaneously pointed at each other, and Hermione slowly backed away, returning to her own table. Snape crossed his arms over his chest, his onyx, wispy robes settling in waves down his body.

As he sneered down his prominent, hooked nose at Harry, the teen shrugged nonchalantly. "Sorry Professor. It was Ron's suggestion."

As soon as the accusatory words left Harry's lips, Ron started sputtering in protest. Incredulously, he muttered under his breath, "Bloody hell, mate. Really?!"

Harry mouthed a 'sorry' at his red-haired friend and Snape cleared his throat, unhappy with their side conversation.

In a snide tone, the Professor commanded, "Potter. Detention."

"What?! But-" Harry began to say, but Snape interrupted him.

"For that Potter, two hours," Snape responded, and began to amble back towards the front of the classroom. As he turned, his fingers lightly brushed against Harry's shoulder, sending shivers down the teen's spine.

* * *

Four hours later, Harry made his way down into the depths of Hogwart's Castle, towards the Potions Lab. He was muttering under his breath incoherently in discontent.

 _Bloody git, that Ron. Sending me down here alone. Guess I shouldn't be surprised,_ Harry thought bitterly.

As he walked through the stone tunnels, the flames in the lanterns flickered ominously when he passed by. Finally, the worn, wooden door that led to the lab loomed up ahead and Harry took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he knew wasn't going to be an enjoyable experience.

He reached out and grasped the circular handle, pulling the door open with a prophetic creak. He cringed at the grating sound and stepped over the threshold, down into the dank room. As he descended, Snape could be seen in the far corner of the room, poised over something on his desk.

Harry cleared his throat and in a hesitant voice, asked, "Professor?"

Snape turned, the hem of his ebony robes twirling around his body. "Potter. Sit, there," he directed, pointing at the work table just in front of his desk.

Mumbling under his breath again, Harry made his way through the other desks, weaving back and forth, until he finally approached the one that Snape had indicated. On the table, there were various flasks and beakers, filled with an array of colorful liquids. A pewter cauldron sat in the center, resting on a burner that was already on. Obviously, the Professor had been prepared for his arrival.

Snape floated over to stand on the opposite side of the work table, hovering threateningly over Harry. He indicated with his thick fingered hand, to the work materials that were spread out on the desk.

"Do it again," he stated spitefully.

"...The entire thing, Professor?"

"Yes, Potter. The entire thing. Since you obviously didn't understand the first time."

Harry stared up at Snape defiantly, and a few moments of tense silence passed as they fought for dominance over the situation. In the end, Harry submitted to Snape and reached out for the first beaker to his right. As he began to pour it into the cauldron, Snape tsked at him in disappointment.

"No, Potter. Wrong again," he reached out and his large hand enveloped Harry's, as he grabbed the beaker out of the teen's grasp.

At his touch, Harry cringed and leaned back in his chair, away from the Professor's hulking figure. Snape glanced suspiciously at him, as he pushed a different container towards him. Harry got the hint and grabbed the new beaker, pouring the contents quickly into the cauldron. The Professor nodded, satisfied, and stepped back again to observe.

Minutes flew by, the entire dungeon so still that it felt like the silence was oppressive; a living thing. Snape's heavy breathing was the only sound that Harry could hear, aside from the clinking of the glass containers.

Eventually, the time came for Harry to stir the potion and he grabbed the ladle to his left, sticking it into the goopy, green liquid. As he struggled to mix the overly thick substance, Snape strode forward and his fingers wrapped around the handle, trapping Harry's hand underneath his massive, sweaty palm.

Harry froze, letting Snape take over and stir for him. When even he had trouble with the potion's consistency, he glared down at Harry through the greasy strands of his obsidian hair, and said condescendingly, "It's too thick."

"S-Sorry, Professor," Harry whispered, his viridian eyes round with apprehension.

Snape wandered around the work table, to stand behind Harry's stool, planting his feet firmly on the ground. His heavy hands came up and rested on Harry's shoulders, as he murmured, "Now Potter, show me the correct way to finish me-FINISH IT. IT."

As soon as the words left Snape's lips, Harry could feel the whisper of the other man's breath against his neck, and the fine hairs along his skin raised. Caught off guard, Harry faltered in his ministrations, quickly struggling to perform the last few steps, up to Snape's standards. It was difficult however, to concentrate, when the Professor remained behind him the entire time, the weight of his hands causing Harry to feel rather uncomfortable.

Later, rather than sooner, the potion was finally complete and Harry poured the creamy concoction into a flask and reached over his shoulder, handing the finished product to Snape, without once meeting his eyes. He waited, with bated breath, for the Professor to step away and give him room to breath once more.

When he felt Snape's fingers caress his as he took the container, Harry trembled with uncertainty when he reflected on the events of tonight's detention. When the Professor drifted away towards his desk, in a feeble voice, Harry questioned, "Sir, can I go now?"

"Don't be late tomorrow. I'd hate to have to...discipline you...again," he replied with a smirk.

Harry stood quickly, knocking over the stool and nodded, not daring to say another word. Feeling utterly violated, he raced up the steps and shoved the heavy, wooden door open, causing it to bang against the outer wall. He turned and hastily slammed it shut, nearly tripping over his own feet in his hurry to return to Gryffindor Tower.

_What in the bloody hell just happened?!_


End file.
